New Jargon Horrors of the Obesity Wars @ Danse Macabre

"More on Pismith," just not here, which you might know explains how the "i"  in Psmith got into both dogmatika, Mortuus defunctus, (11 Mar 2009), and Danse Macabre, which, my brother, got both refried in Expired Archives here

"Since last writing Pismith added a “i” to its name, trying to distinguish itself from Psmith, its founder, discoverer. The “i” signifies a healthy addition to its nationhood. You remember that it was a species discovered by Jergen Psmith at his own expense and effort, but as will happen he was more and more displaced by his creation. You will also remember that Pismith was a being that grew a shell to protect itself from its enemies, who we at this point take simply as a given, though they can be specified later. Anyway, after it grew the shell the thing didn’t fit, either because it was too small or Pismith grew, which is also likely. This caused the protected inner parts to bulge out unprotected. Dr. Jergen gave his baby anti-diuretic meds to shrink the soft parts back, which worked, but also resulted in severe irritation to the shell lining which affected Pismith’s brain. “Too much, too little, when can we get enough,” Pismith began to rail, partly from the irritant, partly from its own contrary nature. It must not be much fun to be a lab rat. The upshot was that Pismith began to pee with its mouth. Is this as distasteful to me as it is to you? Yes and no. I take it symbolically and not just as an ordinary confusion of orifice. Pismith became famous for its uric speech, as you know, but it went further and this explains why it changed its name, because it turned its kidney also into a new kind of brain. You could see it coming. Those unevolved beings who still speak the old way should well suppose this is not an analogy to themselves. For one thing the Pismith has both a peptide mind and a posterior heart. Perhaps you can go biology.com to find out about it. I’m more interested in why they didn’t have much hair. All of this is beyond dialysis, as it were, but it always helps to explain the freakedness."