X's and O's, the X is a box and the circle an O. Who can't see that circles surround us, "a woman shall compass a man." Did you ever look into an O? The head crowns and is surrounded by the loving arms.
To escape the circles, make new ones to replace mom, is more than self-definition. Does the self exist? Consider what is known, the person known to the parents does not exist. They remember it with wonder, the child remembers everything wrong they did. So who is the child, what it remembers, the sum of itself created? It cannot remember itself truly as the parents know. We say that escape from the circles is the only way to go. That does not mean escape to a box. It means go outside town and breathe the wind.